Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Tuesday evening
Hi all
Well hopefully just another quick post tonight as I still have a bit to do and its almost 8pm and I am one of those people that need a lot of sleep so am usually in bed by 9.30pm at the latest - yes I know I wonder how I will cope when my turn at being a mum comes around but I am sure I will! :)
Work today - another hectic day but boy the day sure did fly by! We have decided to go out to lunch with Jude on Friday as a team Christmas lunch so we are all looking forward to that and I know Jude is thats for sure! Just going to a local cafe in Upper Hutt so Jude doesn't have far to go but thats cool - it will be great for her to catch up with us all.
Foodwise today - another good day. I have taken some of your suggestions after last nights post upon board and I will really have a look at my protein intake and also my snacks and perhaps alter them a bit and see how that goes. Water - hmmm I would estimate between 2.5 and 3 litres today so am really pleased with that. Exercise - yes I did go to the gym tonight!!! YAY for me!!! I didn't go last night as it was closing early so last night I packed my bag for today JUST IN CASE I felt like going this afternoon. And a special thanks to Jo S (hope you are reading this Jo) for encouraging me to go - especially as a place to vent my frustrations and emotional problems I am going through right now! It worked and I feel so much better for doing it.
The only problem with the gym at the moment is with Steph being out of action for cooking (hard to cut things up one handed) it meant that we had a late dinner as by the time I get home from the gym it is about 6.45pm, so started dinner then, and then had my shower after Shortland Street.... but I am sure we will manage for the next few weeks as it is not as if I go to the gym every night! I am contemplating going tomorrow night too (my usual Wednesday visit) but we also have the Pak 'N' Save Christmas Club night so will see how we are going.
The emotional problems I am going through right now are quite hard to deal with and I am up and down and all over the place emotionally! I just keep on thinking of my two angels right now as I should either (A) have a 3mth old baby to love, care for and to call my own or (B) be in the third trimester of a pregnancy had I not lost the 2nd one too! So between those two things right now I am struggling quite a bit but thanks to an amazing support network on the "Somebody" forum that I belong to I am getting through each day.
I am sad to see that both Jo and Anne are taking a break from journalling over the christmas/new year period - both due to other things happening in their lives! I am gonna miss your updates heaps but I totally understand their reasoning and respect that. These are both amazing women (whom I have met personally) and I hope that they come back to journalling in the New Year!
Anyway, gotta keep moving -this once again has turned into a longer than planned update.
Catch ya later
Well hopefully just another quick post tonight as I still have a bit to do and its almost 8pm and I am one of those people that need a lot of sleep so am usually in bed by 9.30pm at the latest - yes I know I wonder how I will cope when my turn at being a mum comes around but I am sure I will! :)
Work today - another hectic day but boy the day sure did fly by! We have decided to go out to lunch with Jude on Friday as a team Christmas lunch so we are all looking forward to that and I know Jude is thats for sure! Just going to a local cafe in Upper Hutt so Jude doesn't have far to go but thats cool - it will be great for her to catch up with us all.
Foodwise today - another good day. I have taken some of your suggestions after last nights post upon board and I will really have a look at my protein intake and also my snacks and perhaps alter them a bit and see how that goes. Water - hmmm I would estimate between 2.5 and 3 litres today so am really pleased with that. Exercise - yes I did go to the gym tonight!!! YAY for me!!! I didn't go last night as it was closing early so last night I packed my bag for today JUST IN CASE I felt like going this afternoon. And a special thanks to Jo S (hope you are reading this Jo) for encouraging me to go - especially as a place to vent my frustrations and emotional problems I am going through right now! It worked and I feel so much better for doing it.
The only problem with the gym at the moment is with Steph being out of action for cooking (hard to cut things up one handed) it meant that we had a late dinner as by the time I get home from the gym it is about 6.45pm, so started dinner then, and then had my shower after Shortland Street.... but I am sure we will manage for the next few weeks as it is not as if I go to the gym every night! I am contemplating going tomorrow night too (my usual Wednesday visit) but we also have the Pak 'N' Save Christmas Club night so will see how we are going.
The emotional problems I am going through right now are quite hard to deal with and I am up and down and all over the place emotionally! I just keep on thinking of my two angels right now as I should either (A) have a 3mth old baby to love, care for and to call my own or (B) be in the third trimester of a pregnancy had I not lost the 2nd one too! So between those two things right now I am struggling quite a bit but thanks to an amazing support network on the "Somebody" forum that I belong to I am getting through each day.
I am sad to see that both Jo and Anne are taking a break from journalling over the christmas/new year period - both due to other things happening in their lives! I am gonna miss your updates heaps but I totally understand their reasoning and respect that. These are both amazing women (whom I have met personally) and I hope that they come back to journalling in the New Year!
Anyway, gotta keep moving -this once again has turned into a longer than planned update.
Catch ya later
# posted by Karen @ 7:53 PM 
Comments:
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There was a really interesting article in the little treasures magazine about miscarriage. I wish there was something I could do to help, or make you feel better - but of course there is not. It's ok to mourn your two little angels. They are always going to be a part of your life, and they will always always be special. I'm sure your emotions are going to go up and down, and some times will be harder than others. And when it is your turn to be a Mummy to a beautiful healthy little baby it will still be hard because then you will really know what you have lost (I hope that didn't make you feel worse). I guess i just wanted to let you know that I care, and that what you are going through is real, and normal. I'm sure that all of this is contributing to how you are feeling in other aspects of your life. Have you thought about some counselling? It may help - I know my Mum counsels some people who have been through similar things.
Sending you a thousand big hugs - you are a beautiful person and you deserve all the happiness in the world. One day it will be yours :-)
Sending you a thousand big hugs - you are a beautiful person and you deserve all the happiness in the world. One day it will be yours :-)
Hi there Karen...
I too have been where you are now...
We lost three little babies before we where blessed with the three most wonderful children that we now have,,,
I remember a time when by sister-in-law had a baby when where would have been due to have one at the same time - that was the hardest one of them all... I still now look at my nephew and wonder.. what if that little baby had lived... what would she be like.. that she would be at kindergartgen now...
But, after now having three children and looking back.. if one of those little girls had survived I wouldn't have the three children I have now...
It really breaks my heart reading your post... there was nearly three years of total stress with our problems and I thank god each and every day for the three wonderful children that we have been blessed with.
I am a better mother also for going through the pain that we did... I still get cranky at times with them, but it is always at the back of my mind that I am so lucky to have them... sometimes I get quite anxious about them... that they are just too perfect and things will all come undone ... but I work through this and I understand why I feel like this at times...
Please stay strong and at times it is just so easy to fall in a heap, but please have faith in each other and that when you are blessed with children that you will love them just so much and that also have the protection other angels watching over them...
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I too have been where you are now...
We lost three little babies before we where blessed with the three most wonderful children that we now have,,,
I remember a time when by sister-in-law had a baby when where would have been due to have one at the same time - that was the hardest one of them all... I still now look at my nephew and wonder.. what if that little baby had lived... what would she be like.. that she would be at kindergartgen now...
But, after now having three children and looking back.. if one of those little girls had survived I wouldn't have the three children I have now...
It really breaks my heart reading your post... there was nearly three years of total stress with our problems and I thank god each and every day for the three wonderful children that we have been blessed with.
I am a better mother also for going through the pain that we did... I still get cranky at times with them, but it is always at the back of my mind that I am so lucky to have them... sometimes I get quite anxious about them... that they are just too perfect and things will all come undone ... but I work through this and I understand why I feel like this at times...
Please stay strong and at times it is just so easy to fall in a heap, but please have faith in each other and that when you are blessed with children that you will love them just so much and that also have the protection other angels watching over them...
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