Tuesday, January 03, 2006
A down day
Hi ya
Advance warning - this is a "down post" tonight so if you are looking for inspiration, motivation or anything like that you might want to skip to the next journal on your list to read...
I have had it with everything I have decided! Have had it with TTC (Trying to conceive) as TOM arrived this morning and boy it sure is full on (again) and I am feeling like total and utter crap! Perhaps this is something to do with me feeling so down but then again who knows...
Have had it with exercise - although this morning I did a 7km walk (instead of usual 5km) I only did the extra as I had to go to Steph's brothers place to feed the dogs but I really had to force myself with every step I took. Normally once I have my MP3 player going and I get a pace going its all good and there is no stopping me.... but lately although I have been walking reguarly I have been having to force myself otherwise if I didn't walk I would have been eating...
So that takes me to the next thing I am sick of - not so much eating itself cause we all know I love that as that is what got me to this situation in the first place but more so watching what I am eating! I would love to be one of those "skinny minnies" who can eat anything anytime and not gain a bit of weight! Fuck I would love to be one of those women!!! I am so tired of thinking before I eat, sick of thinking how will this affect me on Thursday when I weigh in, sick of thinking I shouldn't be eating this when all I want to do is eat it all...
While I am on the moan and bitch of the week - I am sick of doing everything here at home - sick of cooking every night, sick of doing the dishes, sick of doing all the washing... yes Steph helps with the vacuming but thats about it! Sometimes I feel he could be doing more yet other times I think gees if that was me in the same boat it would be hard to do anything else really. Yes he is getting frustrated at not being able to help me but fuck I am getting frustrated at doing everything when he is usually just sitting there watching TV or on the computer or reading his book... okay there is not a lot else he could be doing but thats beside the point. I may be being unfair here but just wanted to do a vent on this subject whilst I was moaning and bitching about other things.
Oh the other thing that annoys me around home is Steph not willing to come walking with me... as I am usually walking when he is still in bed OR when he is watching TV but hello surely time with his wife should come first occasionally. I give up my gym or walk at the weekends sometimes to spend time with him (in bed... LOL) so surely I am not shelfish in thinking that surely sometimes he could come walking with me especially whilst his hand is in the splint as he is not going to the gym so walking would be keeping up his fitness but no he doesn't see it that way!
Oh speaking of the gym - my one reopened today but in all honesty I just don't know if I want to go back there. Robyn is changing the way things work from the 16th Jan and you now have to make appt times to come to the gym so basically I would need to "book in" for the Mon/Wed evenings and Sat mornings and wouldn't be able to go any other time if I felt the urge. Yes I could go up there and see if there was a space free but if there wasn't that would have been a wasted trip and wasted petrol... so am doing some research on gyms in town but at this stage they are about double the cost of what I am currently paying so might try and sit down with Steph and see what he says about the extra dollars going to the gym. But also need to remember that there will be the joining fee too... I do love it at Robyns place but I am just not sure about the "booking" of times - I can understand her reasoning of it as sometimes the gym in under untilised and other times it is bursting at the seams so this is her way of trying to spread everyone out and apparently it worked when she first opened the gym.... so at this stage I am taking this week off the gym as well while I do some more research and some thinking.
But anyway, I think I have covered all areas that are pissing me off... some I probably haven't explained as well as I could have but never mind I am sure you will get the drift easy enough.
Don't worry I am not giving up - just having one of those days/weeks and like we say to each other - thats our journals are for - to vent and moan and to get things off our chests!
Love ya all
Me
Advance warning - this is a "down post" tonight so if you are looking for inspiration, motivation or anything like that you might want to skip to the next journal on your list to read...
I have had it with everything I have decided! Have had it with TTC (Trying to conceive) as TOM arrived this morning and boy it sure is full on (again) and I am feeling like total and utter crap! Perhaps this is something to do with me feeling so down but then again who knows...
Have had it with exercise - although this morning I did a 7km walk (instead of usual 5km) I only did the extra as I had to go to Steph's brothers place to feed the dogs but I really had to force myself with every step I took. Normally once I have my MP3 player going and I get a pace going its all good and there is no stopping me.... but lately although I have been walking reguarly I have been having to force myself otherwise if I didn't walk I would have been eating...
So that takes me to the next thing I am sick of - not so much eating itself cause we all know I love that as that is what got me to this situation in the first place but more so watching what I am eating! I would love to be one of those "skinny minnies" who can eat anything anytime and not gain a bit of weight! Fuck I would love to be one of those women!!! I am so tired of thinking before I eat, sick of thinking how will this affect me on Thursday when I weigh in, sick of thinking I shouldn't be eating this when all I want to do is eat it all...
While I am on the moan and bitch of the week - I am sick of doing everything here at home - sick of cooking every night, sick of doing the dishes, sick of doing all the washing... yes Steph helps with the vacuming but thats about it! Sometimes I feel he could be doing more yet other times I think gees if that was me in the same boat it would be hard to do anything else really. Yes he is getting frustrated at not being able to help me but fuck I am getting frustrated at doing everything when he is usually just sitting there watching TV or on the computer or reading his book... okay there is not a lot else he could be doing but thats beside the point. I may be being unfair here but just wanted to do a vent on this subject whilst I was moaning and bitching about other things.
Oh the other thing that annoys me around home is Steph not willing to come walking with me... as I am usually walking when he is still in bed OR when he is watching TV but hello surely time with his wife should come first occasionally. I give up my gym or walk at the weekends sometimes to spend time with him (in bed... LOL) so surely I am not shelfish in thinking that surely sometimes he could come walking with me especially whilst his hand is in the splint as he is not going to the gym so walking would be keeping up his fitness but no he doesn't see it that way!
Oh speaking of the gym - my one reopened today but in all honesty I just don't know if I want to go back there. Robyn is changing the way things work from the 16th Jan and you now have to make appt times to come to the gym so basically I would need to "book in" for the Mon/Wed evenings and Sat mornings and wouldn't be able to go any other time if I felt the urge. Yes I could go up there and see if there was a space free but if there wasn't that would have been a wasted trip and wasted petrol... so am doing some research on gyms in town but at this stage they are about double the cost of what I am currently paying so might try and sit down with Steph and see what he says about the extra dollars going to the gym. But also need to remember that there will be the joining fee too... I do love it at Robyns place but I am just not sure about the "booking" of times - I can understand her reasoning of it as sometimes the gym in under untilised and other times it is bursting at the seams so this is her way of trying to spread everyone out and apparently it worked when she first opened the gym.... so at this stage I am taking this week off the gym as well while I do some more research and some thinking.
But anyway, I think I have covered all areas that are pissing me off... some I probably haven't explained as well as I could have but never mind I am sure you will get the drift easy enough.
Don't worry I am not giving up - just having one of those days/weeks and like we say to each other - thats our journals are for - to vent and moan and to get things off our chests!
Love ya all
Me
# posted by Karen @ 8:05 PM 
Comments:
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Great vent, good on you! Nothing much to say cept hugs hugs hugs, I hate days like this. You will get there Ms Bubbly - you always bounce back, and it will be your turn one of these days to have your much loved and wanted baby. I am sure of it! HUGS!!
I agree with Kate. It is good to get it out sometimes and we all have to do it.
I do think that the Steph thing you have to talk to him about it because it is not good on the relationship and I know that for me my husband is my best friend and I can talk to him about anything. Communication hun it is what marriage is about.
Big hugs from me my friend. I sent the email for you to accept too ok!!
Love CM
I do think that the Steph thing you have to talk to him about it because it is not good on the relationship and I know that for me my husband is my best friend and I can talk to him about anything. Communication hun it is what marriage is about.
Big hugs from me my friend. I sent the email for you to accept too ok!!
Love CM
*hugs* days like these suck eh? at least you know you arent the only one who has them :)
# posted by 
: January 03, 2006 9:37 PM
: January 03, 2006 9:37 PM
Take care mate and vent away......
Yell scream, throw a tantrum do whatever it takes to get it out of your system :):)
Now you have done that try and relax :):)
Cheers Jaxx
Yell scream, throw a tantrum do whatever it takes to get it out of your system :):)
Now you have done that try and relax :):)
Cheers Jaxx
Are you living my life?
I was nodding all the way through - and posted myself last month about being sick of trying to be good all the time. It seems the smallest treat leads to a gain or maintain, which seems so unfair when I have so much to lose (50kgs) that I feel there should be some leeway.
Also agree about the partner helping out thing and the TTC. We haven't been trying for as long as you (only a few months) but it is damned annoying when TOM arrives.
We all have these days (or weeks or months). Hopefully tomorrow you'll feel more positive and better able to cope.
Happy New Year...
I was nodding all the way through - and posted myself last month about being sick of trying to be good all the time. It seems the smallest treat leads to a gain or maintain, which seems so unfair when I have so much to lose (50kgs) that I feel there should be some leeway.
Also agree about the partner helping out thing and the TTC. We haven't been trying for as long as you (only a few months) but it is damned annoying when TOM arrives.
We all have these days (or weeks or months). Hopefully tomorrow you'll feel more positive and better able to cope.
Happy New Year...
# posted by : January 04, 2006 1:26 AM
: January 04, 2006 1:26 AM
DDod ya feel better once it was all out??? Maybe it is time to go and see a Doc again about the baby thing??? Surely it might be worth another visit?? But - you have had so much on your plate at the moment - maybe it is time for a little break?
Hope you are feeling on top of things a little more!!!
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Hope you are feeling on top of things a little more!!!
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