Karens Weight Loss Journal

Hi all

Well am not long home from hospice and the stubborn old bag is still hanging in there! LOL That probably sounds cruel for those that don't know her but it has always been a joke between Jude and her close friends how stubborn she can be when she wants to get her own way!
It has been one very long day today and I am shattered and am heading to bed shortly to hopefully get a good sleep... but in all honesty I am expecting my phone to ring during the night with either Judes brother or son ringing me to tell me she has passed away.
Jude was doing so well this morning and insisted that I go for a walk to get her an fruju iceblock! So a couple of us went for a walk (which was further than I thought and I did not have proper walking shoes on but never mind) and ended up getting her a popsicle slushi which she just loved!!! It was better than an iceblock as it meant someone could feed it to her mouthful by mouthful... and over a period of 2/3 hrs she devoured the lot. I did have a couple of breaks from the hospice but never for too long as I just didn't want to be too far away from her in case something happened.
Midafternoon she detoriated again quite rapidly and her son made the call that we were all able to spend time with her one on one... so eventually I was able to have my time with her and that will always be very special to me! As I was sitting there holding her hand blubbering away she woke up and told me to stop crying and to toughen up! Silly old bag - easy for her to say that! LMAO She also lifted her arms up and gave me 3 cuddles which was so special for me and will always remain in my heart.
Judes family have been amazing support to me today especially her brother and sister in law - without them I don't know if I would have managed too well.
So anyway, after the one on one and having tea with the family (fish and chips) I decided that it was time for me to come home and leave the family (and a couple of her sons friends) to have time with her... In a way I hope she is still hanging in there in the morning so I can pop back down there and see her again and support her parents and son before going to Mums for lunch... and then as I said to Steph if she still still being a stubborn old bag I will go back to the hospice when we get home from mums... but in all honesty and as much as this hurts to say - I really do hope she does pass away to a place so much better than earth tonight for everyones sake really but especially her parents as they are really struggling.
I do feel honoured though as one of the photos that I took of Jude on New Years Day (when we went and picked her up from Foxton) has been chosen by her parents etc to be the one that goes on top of the coffin at her funeral! This means so much to me - it is hard to put it in to words what that means to me! So whilst I was out on one of my breaks I went over to Queensgate and got the enlargement that her parents wanted done and it has come out beautifully. Since getting home tonight, her son has txt me and asked if we can get him one the same size so will get that done for him tomorrow some time. I think I will post it here once she has passed away and I do my post in honor of Jude!
Anyway, I am shattered and I don't know how much of this is making sense and if I am repeating myself at times... so will sign off and will be back at some stage tomorrow probably to keep you all updated.
Thank you all so very much from the bottom of my heart for the comments, emails and txts that have come through today - they all mean so very much to me and I love you all!!!